i hope you stay, american baby.

third hour, in the fucking LMC. God damn i fucking hate this place. i used to love it to pieces, but i cannot stand the cunt that calls herself the librarian. Anyhoo. Josh and i decided that we were going to be late today. I completely skipped first hour, and shouldn't have, because apparently we had a substitute and watched a film about convicts or something that was highly entertaining. ah well, shit happens. Karma, really.
So tomorrow i get to sleep, thank baby jesus and bhudda. Today i really desperately just wanted to sleep, i didn't even shower so that i could sleep in a little. Tomorrow i'm not getting up for anyone until i'm good and ready. Sleep deprivation should be, like, against the law. i should sue the school because of it. BASTARDS!
okay there's my rant. Dad said that we're going to Nakoosa on the fourteenth to likely get wood. Basically i'm just gonna sit in the great outdoors listening to music and whatnot. It's better than going to school, especially on a day like that, where i'll be a goddamn wreck of a human. Dad's not gonna give me the car. I asked him if i could pay for it once i got a job, and he said no. Fucker. I'm really quite pissed, but at the same time i understand. I'll get a car after i get a job and save a bit of money. Dad better pay for half of it, or else... well i don't know what else, but i'll be dangerously pissed!
I want to do something fun this weekend, but without a car that's virtually impossible. David won't be here until monday night, and i don't know... i suppose i could call Josh and Kaitlyn, but i feel like i'm mooching off them a lot. Perhaps i'll sit on the computer all weekend. I need to get those damn photos printed out... i don't know why the fuck dad can't do it himself, as i'll likely fuck something up terribly and my face will come out bright green or something. Oh well. I want to fuck about with my myspace as well, and make it cooler. I'll maybe make another collage of junk for my wall... I've got all those photos in that folder that i printed off at the beginning of the year, after all. And i have an essay to write on Cinderella... which should be a hoot and a half.
Sunday dad and i are gonna clean out the basement, which should be interesting. i'll likely end up killing myself. i want to, because i'd like to be able to have that area all nice and whatever so that i can have a nice warm spot in the house to sit in the cold-ass winter. But i don't know dad's plans for it. He wants to get a new bed, so i want him to put the old bed downstairs so that it can be like another spare bedroom for when Jeremy and Melissa come home, and Tami as well. That way Tami can sleep upstairs in the small bed and Jeremy can have the big nice one. I'm thinking of re-arranging the room upstairs so that it doesn't look so stupid. The layout is fucked up, the bed is in the middle of the room... I should also clean out the attic. I wish Dad would let me re-arrange the furniture in the living room. Mom would be going insane, she'd have changed it like eight times by now. It really bothers me.
The class is going to end soon, and then i'm off to Intro To Law, the class that i didn't sign up for. Oh well, it's pretty damn easy. Cheers for now.

a long time

it's been a while, i know. But i've been busy and not really on the computer. It was my birthday on the fifteenth, and that was alright. the sunday before that i celebrated with my family. Mandy spent like a load of money on me, as well as she took Josh and i to the packer game. Sad, but true...we had fun.
My dad got me a record player, finally, and that was wonderful. I've been using it virtually nonstop, and i fucking love records! they're so much more intimate, you know? I love the smell of the vinyl as well. I bought Beatles' Abbey Road and Yo La Tengo's "i am not afraid of you and i will beat your ass", which is bloody brilliant. I've been really into Yo La Tengo lately. I also got back all my records from breanna, and she didn't even put up a fight! i couldn't believe it, i thought that i was gonna have to put up my fists and begin to duel, but alas! peace ensued! Which is always nice when you don't feel like fighting for anything.
Here i sit now, in third hour study hall on Bielen's computer in her room because she's gone to get lunch and i'm protecting her room from burglars and freshmen. The sophomores hve their gay-ass testing, WKCE or whatever, to do this morning and tomorrow morning, so i get to come to class late and not be marked tardy. Then on Thursday and Friday i've got off!! hurray!!
Dad told me yesterday while we were grocery shopping (oh god i'm so fucking hungry....but i need to save my money for smokes, so...oh balls!) He told me that he was gonna take off for mom's birthday next month, and i was like oh gott, because it falls on a wednesday... we might go somewhere. bee's back, check in later.

Monday, fucking Monday.

oh sweet Big G, why the hell did you invent Mondays? Was it even you who did this awful thing? Or was it like, the Romans or something, who invented everything else? Hmm...

Actually, for a monday, it was quite lovely. Josh and i went to Auto Haus on Velp and test-drove an arseload of cars with cute dealer boy Pete. I'd love to get into Pete's pants, but sadly it would be illegal as i am underage for another week and he's got a girlfriend, apparently. Sadface, i know. But girlfriends can always be taken out.

anyhoo. i met this boy brandon on myspace, right?
and he ends up being my really sweet and cute and funny and so-into-me ex-next-door-neighbor!
so hooray for me.

i've been talking to him for a few hours now. he's so sweet and funny.
but he won't call me which is weird. but oh well.

my back is killing me so gute nacht, meine pallies.

Fabulously Exhausted.

Seriously. What the hell is up with people insisting that i wake up in the morning? I hate those people, and they should die. I actually called myself in so that i could get an extra hour of sleep this morning. That's how sad my life is.
Today i went to my sister's after school with dad so that i could watch the kids whilst she got some running about done and rob and dad got wood. and seriousl! those kids are too fucking cute. Ty is starting to want to crawl, which is good, and riley's way smarter than all the other two-year-olds of this world.
The librarian kicked Josh and i out last week Friday and i got wrote up for not going back to study hall, the cunt. So apparently, the bastards are supposed to send referrals to the parental units, only i didn't know about this until this year, because in previous years i've had Draheim, the wonder-principal, and gorgeous guy, to save me from bitches like her. but he's gone now and i've got a dumbass gay man for a principal. He wants me to APOLOGISE to the fucking librarian!! for talking in the library! seriously. no. i will not. is what i should've said. instead i lied and told him i would. watch me get written up for that too. what is this world coming to? i can't wait to get the fuck out of that hellhole. i'll admit, i'll miss most of the teachers and a lot of the kids, but i will not miss the politics. bastards.
I love mixdiscs and soundtracks. Especially soundtracks that have some dialogue from the film adapted into part of the song (preferably the beginning or end). I love making mixdiscs as well. It's like my favourite pastime.
Tomorrow i've got to go to my senior meeting thing. Which i want to cut myself over, emo-style. I really don't like going into my counselor's office, it reminds me of being interrogated and i always come out feeling like shit. I'm debating just going in there to talk about my maths class and then being like i can deal with the rest of the crap on my own, i don't need your help and i don't see why you need to know what i'm gonna do with my life. because no matter what i say, it'll change in a year or less anyway. I'm taking a year off to find myself and breathe. Then, if i havn't found where i want to live andwork, i will likely pay (through my ass) my way through uni. That's really all you need to know, because i know you don't care anyway. ...Actually, prehaps i will work up the nerve to tell him that. or maybe i'll write it in a letter. We shall see.
I miss Benjamin desperately. I wish he'd come home for my birthday, because it seems like i havn't seen him in years. I seriously love him, and totes want to marry him.
Then tomorrow after school i hang with Josh.
Thursday, mom'd friend Barb is coming to take me shopping and then she's taking dad and i out for dinner. I'm totes excited, i really like Barb, and it'll give me a chane for some actual time with someoneelse other than Josh.
Jesus i miss Ben. It's not like i don't love Josh, but i'd really love to just hang with someone else. Chris won't answer his phone since i fucked him, i've broken up with Jeff... ugh.

Off i go to beddy.

OMG! JOSH JUST CALLED! APPARENTLY BEN'S COMING HOME FOR MY BDAY AND HE BOUGHT ME A RING! ....wait. he bought me a ring?? holy shit. he's gay. at least he was when he left. what the hell???