Fabulously Exhausted.

Seriously. What the hell is up with people insisting that i wake up in the morning? I hate those people, and they should die. I actually called myself in so that i could get an extra hour of sleep this morning. That's how sad my life is.
Today i went to my sister's after school with dad so that i could watch the kids whilst she got some running about done and rob and dad got wood. and seriousl! those kids are too fucking cute. Ty is starting to want to crawl, which is good, and riley's way smarter than all the other two-year-olds of this world.
The librarian kicked Josh and i out last week Friday and i got wrote up for not going back to study hall, the cunt. So apparently, the bastards are supposed to send referrals to the parental units, only i didn't know about this until this year, because in previous years i've had Draheim, the wonder-principal, and gorgeous guy, to save me from bitches like her. but he's gone now and i've got a dumbass gay man for a principal. He wants me to APOLOGISE to the fucking librarian!! for talking in the library! seriously. no. i will not. is what i should've said. instead i lied and told him i would. watch me get written up for that too. what is this world coming to? i can't wait to get the fuck out of that hellhole. i'll admit, i'll miss most of the teachers and a lot of the kids, but i will not miss the politics. bastards.
I love mixdiscs and soundtracks. Especially soundtracks that have some dialogue from the film adapted into part of the song (preferably the beginning or end). I love making mixdiscs as well. It's like my favourite pastime.
Tomorrow i've got to go to my senior meeting thing. Which i want to cut myself over, emo-style. I really don't like going into my counselor's office, it reminds me of being interrogated and i always come out feeling like shit. I'm debating just going in there to talk about my maths class and then being like i can deal with the rest of the crap on my own, i don't need your help and i don't see why you need to know what i'm gonna do with my life. because no matter what i say, it'll change in a year or less anyway. I'm taking a year off to find myself and breathe. Then, if i havn't found where i want to live andwork, i will likely pay (through my ass) my way through uni. That's really all you need to know, because i know you don't care anyway. ...Actually, prehaps i will work up the nerve to tell him that. or maybe i'll write it in a letter. We shall see.
I miss Benjamin desperately. I wish he'd come home for my birthday, because it seems like i havn't seen him in years. I seriously love him, and totes want to marry him.
Then tomorrow after school i hang with Josh.
Thursday, mom'd friend Barb is coming to take me shopping and then she's taking dad and i out for dinner. I'm totes excited, i really like Barb, and it'll give me a chane for some actual time with someoneelse other than Josh.
Jesus i miss Ben. It's not like i don't love Josh, but i'd really love to just hang with someone else. Chris won't answer his phone since i fucked him, i've broken up with Jeff... ugh.

Off i go to beddy.

OMG! JOSH JUST CALLED! APPARENTLY BEN'S COMING HOME FOR MY BDAY AND HE BOUGHT ME A RING! ....wait. he bought me a ring?? holy shit. he's gay. at least he was when he left. what the hell???